My Only Wish
by AoiTsuki1412
Summary: It has been years since Haruka had last seen Rin and he decided to take a visit to Australia on Rin's birthday. A RinHaru fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, yeah... Another fic from me and not the update of my previous fics. I found this fic in my hard disk so I just thought of posting it here. I'm sorry for not updating but I'm really are busy ! _ I have to do Database Design Mini Project and Multimedia Mini Project... There are a few tests too... Man... This week is just so hectic... =_="**

**Anyway, please enjoy this lowly fic of mine~ XD**

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><p>"Rin… I wonder how are you doing right there…", Haru murmured alone. It had been 6 years since Rin left to achieve his dream, 5 and a half-year since Rin decided to cut off the ties between them but never once Haruka had cast him away from his heart – he just loves him so much that he don't really mind suffering because of him. Haruka let out a heavy sigh upon remembering the day when everything changes in his life. Until now, he didn't really understand why exactly Rin decided to throw him away from his life. Why did Rin decided to break his heart into pieces after giving him such a hope ? What happened to him out there that he changed so much ? All kinds of questions always play in his mind whenever he thought of Rin and he ended up coming with a conclusion. 'He's nothing but a hindrance to Rin.'<p>

After all the years, Haruka had decided to accept the fact that Rin and him are not meant to be together though it took a lot of time and suffering for him to return to his normal self – he still hasn't start swimming though. He stopped swimming right after that incident with Rin, trying to forget him but he couldn't. Even now, he feels sick every time he sees water since water always makes him to remember Rin even more. During the times when his depression is getting worse, he would do anything to get rid of that feeling, mostly hurting himself since he had always thought that everything happened between him and Rin is his fault and hurting himself is a punishment for being such a problem to Rin. Cutting on some parts of his body didn't feels weird anymore since he had gotten used to it.

It all thanks to Makoto that he managed to change before anything worse might happen to him. If Makoto wasn't there for him, he wouldn't know what he'll become by now – he might be dead or being admitted into the psychiatric hospital. Haruka felt guilty to Makoto though since he had gave him a sight that he shouldn't have to see again. He still remembered Makoto's frightened face, even if his sight was blurry that time. He was drowning himself in the bathtub and it would be successful if only Makoto didn't come at the right time. He came into the bathroom and panicked as he saw Haruka lifeless in the bathtub, calling his name and shaking his body. Haruka could hear him; his voice sounds like he is crying and Haruka wanted to sooth him but his body was too weak to respond. He didn't remember what happened after he passed out. He woke up a day later, finding himself lying on the hospital bed with Makoto sitting on the chair, his head resting on the right side of the bed.

Weakly, he forced his hand to reach Makoto's head the caressed it slowly. Makoto immediately woke up to the sudden touch and look at Haruka. He looks so grateful like he was going to lose something very precious before; his eyes were filled with tears while muttering 'I'm glad' like a chant. From that day onwards, Haruka had decided to change himself for the better and since that day, he learnt how to conceal and fake his real feelings completely so that even Makoto wouldn't be able to figure it out – he doesn't want anyone to be hurt and worry because of him anymore. Makoto had been a great support during his downfall and Haruka felt very grateful for that.

'Should I go to Australia to visit Rin ?.', Haruka thought, thinking deeply about it. Since the last 2 months, his urge to see Rin had grown bigger and stronger than before. He doesn't really know why but he felt like he must go and meet Rin as soon as possible or he'll regret it – it's as if he wouldn't have the chance to meet Rin anymore. After thinking about it for a few moments, Haruka decided to book his ticket online. He started up his laptop that was in the hibernate mode then started to search for a suitable date for him to choose. 'Hmm… 2nd February would do. Maybe I can celebrate his birthday too.', Haruka thought while smiling to himself, thinking of what present he'll get for Rin. He is still quite surprised on the changes he had been through.

Celebrating birthdays is so not Haruka-like since he doesn't really like parties but it looks like his Iwatobi gangs changed that part of him – especially Nagisa. Since they often celebrate birthdays in Haruka's house, he became adapted to it. Haruka from once upon a time who didn't really care about birthdays and celebrations became aware of them and not celebrating his friends' birthdays would feel weird for him. It's as if something is missing from his life schedule.

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><p>"Makoto, I'm going to Australia tomorrow." Makoto eyes widen as he heard Haru's statement. He looks at Haru, his emerald orbs staring straight to another's sapphire orbs. He had never thought that Haru would make such a decision without telling him earlier. "Why so sudden ?", Makoto asked. Calmly, Haru closes his eyes and took a sip of his tea then replied with a faint smile plastered on his face, "I don't really know. It's just… I have this strong urge to see Rin…" Makoto kept quiet after hearing Haru's answer, looking down to his coffee cup. It's not like he doesn't know Haru's feeling toward Rin but for Haru to make such random decision just to meet him, his love for Rin must be so strong. Even after being hurt by Rin all of this time, he never come to hate Rin and Makoto felt very jealous of that. Why can't he, the person who's always there for him be the most special person in his heart ? Why must it be Rin of all people ?<p>

"Haru… can't you ever consider even once to forget about him ? He had been hurting you all this time !", Makoto said, raising his voice a bit as his emotions taking control of him. He had never felt this pissed off before. Haru shook his head then looked at Makoto with a sad smile carved on his face. "But Haru ! Can't I-", Makoto tried to convince him but Haru crossed his words. "No. Please Makoto… I've told you many times before. I'm very thankful that you're always there for me but I'm sorry that I can't requite your feeling. Please understand that." Makoto kept his mouth shut after hearing Haruka's statement. The situation was awkwardly tense between them with no one saying anything.

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><p><strong>This fic has around 3-4 chapters after dividing them into parts. I'll update my fics when I'm not busy and the internet connection is good.<strong>

**Feel free to fav, follow and review~ XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Programming exam in one more day ! XP My fics might be updated frequently around the mid of January~ **

**Well, for now please enjoy this crappy chapter ! LOL... XD **

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><p>To : Tachibana Makoto<p>

Subject : Thanks & Sorry For Everything

I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I hope that you could accept my decision. I love you but not more than a best friend. I can't see you as someone more than that even if I try.

Thanks a lot for all the help and support you had given all this time. Honestly, I might not be able to keep on living without your help and I don't like that. I feel like I'm a burden to you and your family even though you said that I'm not. I hope that you'll found someone worthy of your kindness and love.

Sorry for being a bad friend to you.

-Haru

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><p>To : Hazuki Nagisa<p>

Subject : I'm Going

Nagisa, I'm going to Australia to see Rin. Thanks for those advices you sent to me before – they're not bad at all though they're a bit weird. Thanks for all of your help.

P.S : Don't make Rei angry so often. He'll look old faster. You wouldn't want that.

-Haru

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><p>To : Ryugazaki Rei<p>

Subject : I'm Going

I'm going to Australia to see Rin. Wish me luck ! Good luck for your new experiment. I saw the news in the TV.

P.S : Don't be too strict to Nagisa. You should pamper him sometimes.

-Haru

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><p>Haruka turned off his phone right after he sent all the messages to them. He left his house quite early since he didn't want to meet Makoto in his way to the station. It's not like yesterday's was the first time he fought with Makoto but the situation is always awkward after the fight. He needs a few days to be able to greet Makoto and apologize to him properly. The flight will take off in a few minutes and Haruka feels very anxious – anxious on what will happen during the flight, what will happen when he meet Rin, what will be Rin's reaction upon seeing him. He closed his eyes, letting his sleepiness to take over him during the flight, trying to dream of his sweet moments with Rin.<p>

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><p>A sound of shattered glass suddenly came to Rin's hearing while he was studying. Irritated by the sudden sound that disturbed his concentration, he went out of his room to see what happened. He looked around the living room to search for that shattered thing and found a shattered glass on the floor – it's Haruka's handmade glass that was given to Rin as a departing gift before he went to Australia. 'Darn it… Why couldn't anything else dropped down instead of this one ?', Rin cursed in his mind. He took the broom and the scoop from the store then swept away the glasses, throwing it the sharp shattered glass away into the rubbish bin.<p>

The thought of people's saying that something bad will likely happen to someone if something related to that person is broken without any logical reason kept playing in his mind. Rin tried to drive away that thought from his mind but he couldn't – something bad might happen to Haruka and he somehow could feel something bad will happen. Even though Rin had cut off his ties with Haruka, he won't want anything bad happen to him. As he's worrying about Haruka, he suddenly realized that he didn't remember how long it was since his last contact with ex-lover and he never knows what happened to his friends in Iwatobi since that time – he couldn't register when he stopped taking care about those. Since when had he became so oblivious towards his friends, especially about Haruka ? How and when did he even get a girlfriend to replace Haruka in his life anyway ?

"Get out of my mind, Haru ! You're always distracting me !", Rin shouted as he felt very frustrated when thinking about Haruka. He didn't know what had gotten into him when he decided to cut off the ties between them. He loves Haruka and he regretted his decision. He thought that forgetting Haru will make him move on but he was wrong – nothing really changed after that. His swimming never improved and he ended up being a police officer instead of an Olympic swimmer. Rin closed his eyes then as he was about to fall asleep, his doorbell suddenly rang. He forced himself to get up from bed, then lazily walked to the door and talked at the intercom, "Who is it ?"

"It's Elisa ! Open up !", a girl replied. Rin opened the door then he was greeted with a big hug from her.

"Hey… What's with that sudden hug, babe ?", Rin said with a grin on his face.

"It's your birthday ! Happy Birthday, Rin !", the girl said then snuggled even more on Rin's chest.

"Really ? I forgot…"

"Yep ! I got a present for you ! Look ! A pair of matching necklaces for both of us !"

"T-thank you."

"No problem ! Now… let me put it around your neck !", Elisa said excitedly.

Rin lowered his body so that she can put it around his neck easily. He imagined that he would be happier if he could to this with Haruka – wearing the same rings, necklaces or bracelets as a symbol of their relationship. It's not like he doesn't feel happy with Elisa being his girlfriend but he still prefer Haruka instead of her. 'Haru… I wish that you're here…', Rin thought. Elisa had done putting the necklace around his neck and she looks very happy that the necklace suits Rin. Suddenly, his doorbell rang again. "Seriously ! Why would the doorbell rings so much today ?!" Elisa giggled seeing Rin's reaction to the doorbell.

"Who is it ?"

"It's me."

"Who the hell are you ? Do you think I would know who you are with that crappy answer ?"

"It's… Nanase… Haruka…"

Rin's eyes widen as he heard the reply. Nanase Haruka ? Is that how his voice sounded before ? He had totally forgotten about that. 'Wait… What is he doing here ?' Haruka is right in front of his door. It felt like a dream and his brain couldn't process the sudden situation he's in that he froze in front of the intercom for quite a while. "You're taking too much time, Rin ! Who is it ?", Elisa came toward Rin, pouting.

"It's just an old friend of mine. Not important."

"An old friend ?! Let's go and greet him !", Elisa hugged Rin's arm then cheerfully dragged him to the door.

"Elisa, let me go !"

"Come on… I really wanted to meet your friend !", Elisa said while opening the door.

"H-hello…", Haruka awkwardly greeted the pair in front of him. His heart is aching like it's been stabbed from the inside. 'I thought so… He replaced 'you', Haruka…', he thought, mocking himself in his mind. He realized that he was waiting and hoping like an idiot for Rin to come back to him all this time. Makoto was right and he knew it. He should've listened to him but he didn't want to. It won't hurt like this if he did listen to Makoto's advice – he knew it but he chose to be oblivious of it. 'Wait… You've decided to accept your fate, so calm down Haru.' He put on a fake smile then continued his greeting. "I'm Nanase Haruka. Rin's friend." Faking his emotions is not a problem for him after all that happened to him – after all this years he learned that camouflaging is the best way to get out of his problems.

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><p><strong>Well, that's all for now...<strong>

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